|
|
|
December 29th, 2005
10:30 pm
it's enough to make me cry. but doesn't seem like that would make me feel better.
|
November 24th, 2005
11:04 pm
someday he will want me again. the way i want him.
i'm tired. happy thanksgiving.
i'm glad i lost all my friends.
Current Mood:  thankful
|
November 17th, 2005
09:51 pm
I got a kitten. She is so fucking adorable.
I don't so much like people. Turns out i do so much like cats.
|
November 14th, 2005
10:20 pm
I don't trust anyone....Really. It's lame. I hate that so much has changed this year. But god its changed.
The year 2005 has been officially deemed the "Teshya does not know SHIT" year.
I still have six weeks to go....
How much fucking more can i possibly not know, or be wrong about...and need to learn about this year?
I'm working on quitting smoking cigarettes again. Yay...
And I still have high hopes of a random, quick, and painless death.
Current Mood: Just Here
Current Music: Jack Johnson - on and on
|
November 2nd, 2005
05:09 pm
i lost all my friends in the last 48 hours. the long story is not worth posting.
today i hope to die a random, quick, and painless death...
|
October 20th, 2005
06:56 pm
so i'm taking zoloft and tranquilizers now. i'm much more relaxed. and i don't feel like i have to puke in the mornings. then again it's only been two days. we'll see how this goes.
it feels very nice to relax. it's been a long time.
now all i need is someone in my bed.
for now my izaboo will do.
and mushrooms are awesome. very very awesome.
Current Mood:  sleepy
|
October 14th, 2005
10:54 pm
i just wanna i'm so fucking pissed at so many things aubrey christie carl cherie dan and eric for being far away jess for fucking up the way i think about girls and everybody that came along and all the bullshit and everything i hate and am and what the point really is doesn't matter.
ten fifty five and here search post its stupid discs and a card holder and the green fucking walls and the loose toilet seat and the coffee shop and tmobile and boys and cats and the fuckin wind and speakers and vibrations and tylenol pm and the printer paper and the dog food and cat toys and mattress in the middle of the living room floor and the torn leather couch and i'm tired but i can't sleep because i'm tired of sleeping alone.
but fuck if anyone is worth letting into
the ice on the windows the flashing eiffel tower my alarm clock the shower head 14 flavors of body wash the hair in the drain the left overs in the fridge wrinkled clothes on top of the dryer empty lighters corn pops on the counter dishes in the sink
fires in the backyard smoking cigarettes talking about nothing learning everything admitting knowing nothing
Current Mood:  crushed
|
September 7th, 2005
07:21 pm
things are cool today. did not work. slept til noon. been smokin all day. got some yard work done. hangin out with teeta and rich. but things are kind of weird with me and teeta and i'm not sure why. just a little tense and a little less funny and fun that usual. i'm not sure what the deal is. oh well. it will sort itself out. we are too much soul mates or some shit to let it bother us for too long.
i want a cat. but instead as an excellent substitute i hope to get teetas dog.
gotta go. people are waiting.
peace out...
Current Mood:  good
|
September 5th, 2005
07:08 pm
so i slept with him and the cuddling got lame and pretty much everything stopped with that altogether.
this new shift has pretty much stopped all the hangin out with tweakers, which is a good thing.
i slept with travis again and god damn that's some good booty. and then i brought teeta with me to see him. that was hot too. crazy life i live..
hopefully i will be with travis again soon. the few hours we have spent together have been great, i believe there will be a few more.
i like my job a bit more this week. family life is peachy.
i was almost a drug dealer for a minute. but no....no i am not.
i might take temporary custody of teeta's dog scooby. he is fat and small and crazy sounding like izaboo. i think they will get along alright. we are going to have a test run week here soon. still need to bring this up to my sister.
i wish my life would just settle already so chris could move out here and he could live in my house and sleep in my bed and ride in my car and i could lay in his arms and be good to him and know that it's all going to be alright. instead i'm fucking scared of something that's usually nothing anyway.
i gotta go smoke with mom and dad. and then sleep.
Current Mood: hopeful
Current Music: rolling stones - waiting on a friend
|
August 9th, 2005
05:44 am
so there have been some slight specifications made. but that's all really. and the cuddling still. that's nice.
love the new schedule. broke again. no surprise. jack johnson concert on the 16th woohoo.
i should not be awake now but i am. lame. should have another hour at least. lame again.
but here i am. cause laying in bed thinking about the unnecessary pain building in my stomach because my mind is racing and stressing about nothing in particular is just stupid. so i got up.
peace out for now
|
05:43 am
1) Reply with your name and I'll respond with something random about you.
2) I'll tell you what song/movie reminds me of you.
3) I'll pick a flavor of jello to wrestle with you in.
4) I'll say something that only makes sense to you and me.
5) I'll tell you my first memory of you.
6) I'll tell you what animal you remind me of.
7) I'll ask you something that I've always wondered about you.
8) If I do this for you, you must post this on your journal. You MUST. It is written.
i'm guessing on about 2 responses to this. hooray for few friends.
Current Mood:  cranky
|
July 28th, 2005
01:20 pm
jaysin is out of the picture. im changing schedules to 830-730 monday, tuesday, friday and saturday. i will have sunday, wednesday and thursday off. thank fucking god.
i'm not totally broke. yay. im not totally alone. also yay...sort of...
i recently discovered that cuddling is great as long as there is no sex. like, REALLY GREAT. i never knew how good it made me feel. i wish i could do it every day all day long. just lay in his bed and hold him and have him hold me back. been hanging out a while now and thats all that has happened. no exchange of bodily fluids. no promises or commitments or specifications.
just cuddling.
Current Mood:  content
|
June 28th, 2005
03:13 am
so jaysin has been doing meth for the last 3 weeks.
christie broke the bong i inherited from stephanies mom after she killed herself.
i can't afford to pay my bills and buy food for myself or my dog.
i am asleep when it is light and i am awake and alone when it is dark.
i don't know how i will clean up this mess.
Current Mood:  nauseated
|
June 18th, 2005
02:50 am
haha. funny. so at 120am on thursday my boyfriend gets in my car. at approx 130am on thursday my boyfriend is arrested, cuffed, and placed in the back of a cop car.....
he ended up getting out today and it was for some forgery bullshit from a few months ago and he has 6 months probation and 100 hours of community service. i can get over it. after all, i love him, eh?
except he was supposed to call me when i got off work tonight. and he did not. now i'm assuming it's just like any other night when this happens where he tries like hell to stay awake until 1am but can't do it and falls asleep. but seriously, when your girlfriend is me and you just got arrested lastnight and you have only been off dope for a couple weeks, well then god damn, if you want me to keep being your girlfriend i would motherfucking call. but that's just me.
i will still love him later when he calls. which i know he will. unless he somehow managed to get himself put in jail again. and if that IS the case then i'm sure he will not call, as this, of course, is grounds for immediate termination... whatever. i spend too much time in the office.
peace out
Current Mood:  weird
Current Music: green day - brain stew
|
June 15th, 2005
02:27 am
la ti da. i love that i rarely come here so my updates are always like...whoa how did we get from last post to this post...because i leave out a lot of important detail...if you were really my friend, you'd know what happened....ok that's a lie no one really knows what happened. but currently...
i'm dating neighbor boy (real name Jaysin...going to work on referring to him as Jaysin, NOT neighbor boy) i don't know if ive ever posted about him before, but he was almost stalking me and almost scary before. i've known him for a little over a year and for the last 4 months i basically thought he was dead or in prison. turns out i was wrong about both. he had gone to jail for a couple weeks for something petty and then spent the rest of that 4 months IN REDMOND doing meth. that is hot...ok maybe not....
anyhow, i ran into him something like 12 days ago at the end of my parents street on a bike with the kid i bought a bag from the night before...interesting....
i tell him i wanna see him again and i give him my number and off i go...not sure if he will ever call....HE DOES....should not have been surprised...he had lost my number and that's why the non stop calls from him stopped...and when they did 4 months ago...i missed it...i really missed him. it was weird.
so he called, we have hung out a few times, and i layed some ground rules. you wanna be with me like...actually be my dude...you gotta have a job, a car, a place to leave, and NOT be on drugs. turns out he still says he loves me and has been clean for....da da da daaaaaah 12 days and started work yesterday. hooray.
at this point i'm sure i love him too. i have to after all this crap, or i'm just plain crazy.
so he's doin good, and he's my dude. still working on the car and the place to live, which is kind of funny if you know me and about my large investment recently.
what am i doing? silly. he makes me incredibly happy. and since i decided this was a go i have not even sort of kind of wanted to fuck anyone else. yay for love or some shit.
Current Mood:  loved
|
May 27th, 2005
06:50 pm
nothing too much exciting. except for the fact that i finally stopped bleeding and got myself laid. so i did not go to sleep until 5 and got up at 9. woohoo.
however....he's 18 and in the military...like....whut?
yeah. well. it was damn good. and totally legal. i think....
also i am hopefully going to the ocean for my birthday and my shift will be changing to 9am-6pm saturday through wednesday as of july 17th. the week after my birthday. shitty days off. good hours. much better than 4pm-1am. i'm sure my dog still thinks i'm a whore. especially after lastnight.
Current Mood:  drained
|
May 19th, 2005
01:58 am
so i'm back in general care. and i got a 1 monday. and it sucks. and i have never done that before. fortunately i also got a 4 before leaving advanced gen and today a 4 and a 3. so that averages me at 3.0 which is meeting. and i'm sure that since they are being all hard-motherfucking-core now it will only get better because I WILL NOT GET ANOTHER ONE.....and if i do i will cry...again....i hate to cry.
still single (but that's a good thing, i think). though not getting laid...not so good...sad....tear...
oh and i started smoking cigarettes again. :) yay for me. i don't even feel bad about it. except for with my dad. he's the one who asked me to quit, and he's my hero. i did feel bad. but i really missed cigarettes and i think they missed me too. 3 months 25 days. what'd that add, like 20 minutes to my life?
i have blue hair currently. half way. and it's really faded now because i did it a few weeks ago. but still. it's always exciting when i dye my hair, at least for me. and it's pretty. i love blue.
i'm working 4pm-1am sunday through thursday. i used to work 8-430 tuesday through saturday. so my whole life is upside down right now. that might have something to do with the smoking, crying, and not getting laid thing.....i just realized this.
i'm slow. and also tired.
Current Mood: sleepy
Current Music: dont change - inxs
|
April 29th, 2005
06:13 pm
oh and an update on the shit from 4/20 :)
cory really isn't an ass. he really isn't anything. i still like teater and i finally got the balls to ask him to go out with me sometime only to find that he's currently seeing somebody. i sent a text to ryan and he brought my cd. it's good. but if i was unsure before i'm now POSITIVE that my boss is a pothead and further more that his whole band was on drugs when they made that cd. there REALLY was no peak award winner. osmar wasn't lying, angela was. pj did indeed start at t-mobile and i saw him for the first time there today. fantastic. i had left him a note...he left me a note...then blamo we bumped into eachother today. except at work he is paul. hahaha. i think that's funny. i still hope he gets a cell phone. and i bought jack johnson tickets, and an alkaline trio ticket and tomorrow i'm buying anger management tour tickets. quite the summer combo eh? and lennon...still confusing...asked me to hang out with him....then he locked his keys in his car in bend....and because i already know that he is just a confusing boy...i told him not to bother coming by...i was too tired to wait for him.
Current Mood: still incredible...
Current Music: jack johnson - break down
|
06:04 pm
so i hate advanced general care. not surprising. i hate retention mostly. i just keep thinking about the next call i'm gonna get and how again they are going to say "I wanna cancel my service" or "I hate t-mobile" or "I have shitty coverage and i wanna cancel" "i hate my phone i wanna cancel" "i had a bad experience at a store i wanna cancel" or my personal favorite "my contracts almost up, i'm shoppin around, give me something free or i'm gonna cancel my service!" what the hell!?!?!?!?! why do you think you should just get free shit, just because?!?!?!
i don't even want to answer that or come back with a rebuttal right now. i'm trying not to get into a pissy mood cause i had a great fucking day.
i got booty earlier this week too.
i'm going back to general care starting may 10th, also the same day i start jury duty. my new schedule will be 4pm-1am tuesday through saturday. SHITTY. but it will be on rob's team, who i used to live with which will be great, aside from the fact this is girlfriend hates me and is psycho and thinks rob and i fuck like bunnies every chance we get and will royally FLIP out when/if she finds out...
i'm going to miss being incredible. that's for damn sure.
Current Mood: incredible...
Current Music: jack johnson - sitting waiting wishing
|
April 20th, 2005
09:58 pm - happy day
today is a happy day. hooray for today being the day that it is.
a boy at work is cute. another boy at work is kind of an ass.
a couple girls at work are not stupid bitches like i thought they were. hooray for that.
Currently i am still liking my job.
i have the best management team in the whole fucking world.
i'm tired. i think i have arthritis or some shit b/c my wrists hurt like a mother fucker sometimes and my hands start to tingle and i can't open my fists.
i'm not nearly as fat as i was a week and a half ago. pilates rock.
i got the new jack johnson cd today. i like it. jack johnson will be here this summer i hear....and my sister and my senior rep joelle want to go...so do i...maybe an adventure
ok i'm tired and i can't remember everything so here is just some random stuff...i like teater...cory is not an ass....just a boy and a little confusing....i need to text ryan and remind him to bring me a cd....christie was not announced peak award winner...no one was...but angela said they aren't being announced until friday..so osmar is a big fat liar.hooray for pj starting at t-mobile. hopefully he will get a cell phone and i will be able to send him crazy pictures b/c that is fun.
ok. sleepy time. happy day. happy day.
banana pancakes is the song lennon told me about after he went and saw jack johnson last summer. he sent me a sound clip that he recordedon his t-mobile phone. lennon is a cute boy, but much like cory....just a confusing boy.
Current Mood: happy
Current Music: jack johnson - banana pancakes
|
April 8th, 2005
05:20 pm - booty
man i love great booty, i tell ya what. can't get enough of it.
napoleon dynamite was hilarious. the great booty supplier disagreed. i got a raise. i only owe 415.00 on my car. i recently found my jack johnson cd. i got a 2 from national, and that's the only shitty thing that's happened recently.
i just keep trying to remind myself that bad is not that bad...especially if you're me.
and lately, great has been SUPER FUCKING GREAT. i need to get me some more of that great booty though....
Current Mood: pleased
Current Music: jack johnson
|
March 20th, 2005
12:41 pm - i don't know
so today i'm finishing moving into my house. we painted all the walls inside. the kitchen is blue the living room and hallway are yellow the office is green the bathroom is blue and green my sisters room is purple and my room is orange. it's fantastic. and i promise it's not as scary circus like as it sounds. it's soft and warm and the colors compliment eachother well. i had nothing to do with color choice other than my room being orange, and it's really more like peach. but it's fantastic and teshyarrific. my life is all whirlwindy and it's kind of fun but scary sometimes and there's not really anyone i can relate to or talk to that doesn't want to give me advice or tell me how it's gonna be and can just be like "yeah i know what it's like....i'm scared too" nope. cause nobody is going through the same thing. it's weird. and steph. she's the closest to it cause she just got married and mom and moved away....but.....she moved away. so that still doesn't help. i can't imagine how she must feel. am i a bad person for being happy that she is scared too? maybe even MORE happy that she's a little MORE scared than i am. but i wish she was here so we could share it. and vicky should be coming down in april or may. 12 years this year that she's been around. i hate that she's 5 and a half hours away and i can't hardly ever go see her. but i will now. because half a tank of gas in my car will get me there. 50 bucks. that's all i need. i can go see her any time i want, really. but will i? i hope so.
my doggy izaboo is freaking out because all my stuff has been removed from my parents house...well...not all of it but my bed and most my clothes. got some crap on the floor i need to pick up. she has some wrinkles cause she's a pugwawa but the little wrinkles on her forehead the last couple days are not usually there. she's all worried and intense like she's gonna cry. she will not be left behind. she's comin with me tonight. it will be our first night in our house.
how scary is that shit.
Current Mood:  working
|
March 8th, 2005
03:13 pm - fucked up
so my friend steph is supposed to get married on monday march 7th and her mom, gladys, who is a little crazy, is working with me to make it all perfect and stuff. but steph doesn't want it all perfect and stuff. she just wants it small and short and sign here...ok...and then dinner and that's that. so they are fighting and arguing. communicating through me. and stephs mom starts leaving messages on my voicemail at 745am sunday march 6th. Beginning with "Steph's being a bitch....I'm not coming"... "I have some stuff I want you/Stephanie to have..." "Call me back...Please call me back"..... Then I wake up at 11 or so. Check my voice mail. A little shocked and weirded out. Then I get 2 more calls from her. 1145 am and 1157 am, still sunday march 6th. These messages are "I've tried contacting my daughter and all she says is Fuck You and that's fine, she can keep saying Fuck You because I have a .38 Special and I can end it all Teshya. Take care."....."Sorry to bother you again, but I have some things for you and for stephanie that I want you to have. These are stephanies belongings and if she wants them she is welcome to them. Please call me back, Teshya." So I go to Stephanies to tell her what's up and find out what's up and she says she knows and her dad knows and she's on her way to pick up her dad from wal mart because her mom is being crazy so he left and they are calling the cops to put her in jail. Then at 130pm still sunday...still march 6th...I get another call. Stephanie...she says "She did it. My mom shot herself with her .38 special 5 minutes before my dad got home. He said she stopped breathing. He called me and he said he was waiting for the ambulance and he couldn't stop the bleeding and she stopped breathing." I stayed on the phone with her til she got to her parents house in powell butte and she saw the fire trucks and the ambulance and the people outside the ambulance weren't doing anything or helping anybody. She started crying and saying she wanted her daddy and someone told her she couldn't go inside and that they would send someone to get her dad. She said she'd call me back later.
Current Mood:  exhausted
Current Music: modest mouse-bukowski
|
March 4th, 2005
01:14 pm - phlegm is gross
update...to remind myself...later on in life..
my team is number for quality (the most important metric to the company) in the entire nation. 3.23 national and 3.33 ops. i got my first 5 after 11 months and 4 days at t-mobile. today first household item purchase by my sister and i (key holder and shower curtain). last friday night LIVING at mom and dads for at least 2 years tonight. robert (jim) moved out yesterday. stephanie quit her job ran away with hot boy to washington and says she's getting married on monday. having different days off than all your friends is dumb and boring. today is 40 days cigarette free. and the fucking phlegm is still working its way up. and the fucking phlegm is gross.
Current Mood: bored
|
January 11th, 2005
05:48 pm - sooooo
yeah so i bought a house. kind of freaking out a little bit. but i did it. i'm a home owner. well, not yet technically. closing is on feb 28th and we move in on march 14th. with the way it all worked out i'm going to be on vacation in grand junction, colorado from march 10-15. so....moving in is going to be complicated. BUT SO MUCH FUCKING FUN!
yay for me and my sister and our badass credit and our badass new house. i love being me.
Current Mood: grateful
Current Music: a dr dre cd with no words, just the beat. greatness
|
December 6th, 2004
10:55 pm
haven't been here in forever. currently....working for t-mobile. single again after incompatible drinking habits. all the boys i like are religious freaks and do i mean freaks! they both have potential but i'm not a really religious person, and they both like....are. i just got promoted to CCR2 so instead of just taking regular calls i get to to Wireless Data and Retention. Not a whole lot of fun but i do love my job and i make good money doing it. Still living at my parents, partially by choice, partially due to lack of other choices. oh, and i almost forgot the worst week (10 days) EVER. so 11/26 i go on a drive with steph and ian. ian drops me and steph back at my car around 1140, in the fred meyer parking lot. we leave. we go towards my house. we get pulled over...because i "crossed over the fog line" and "this incident is being recorded"...high mom...fortunately the slurpee and my big eyes and questions of "when did i cross over the fog line" and "what is a fog line" were of great assistance. no tickets. just wasted time. then comes 11/29. i go on a drive with ian and steph. ian drops us back at my car around 1144 at the parking lot behind wells fargo. we get in the car. we start to drive, i forget i'm not going home, i have to take steph home. last minute decision to turn off highland onto the road where the stop light is at fred meyer, used my blinker...no other cars around...but got pulled over anyway. "this incident is being recorded" DIFFERENT COP AND EVERYTHING! FIRST ONE WAS A TROOPER BUT THEY WERE BOTH RECORDED! again i say...high mom...they take my lisence and stephs this timem (first on only got mine) and the officer goes back to his vehicle and a few moments later returns to mine. "confiscation of property" he says to his radio...and i'm thinkin...ooooooh shit. i'm fucked. BUT I WAS WRONG! he took stephs lisence b/c it was suspended due to unpaid fines in washington. me? in the clear...so i think. so now it's 12/1...i figure the bad karma has been delivered. i'm done. i'm good to go. i go. to my friend mashelle's. we get dinner at sharis and pick up jordan from isky. we go back to her place. we smoke. i leave. headed home. make it ALL THE WAY FROM BEND TO 23RD! i live on cascade, third left off 23rd once you turn off highland behind the highschool. i make a block before evergreen (the second left) and an animal comes darting out from the darkness towards the drivers side of my vehicle! this is how it all happened..*dog runns out! I swerve! i realize it's a dog! FUCK THE DOG! I try and swerve back! I clip the tail end of a car and my rim is no longer circular. I try to pull away again and due to my no longer circular rim i smash the other cars mirror with mine! i pull over in front of the car and find 2 duds on the porch at the house accross the street. i get out. "sorry....i have insurance". the dude had just got the toyota like 3 days before. total damage? 1200 to mine.....3929.12 to his. i have liability only....1200 is out of pocket. so....i borrow my grandmas car and now i'm sure. the bad karma is done with...has come and gone...i go out. just down the street to pick up steph and bring her back here to hang out...safely we return home and pull in the drivway. we go to get out. stephs door won't open. she pulls the handle a second time and SNAP! it breaks. my grandmas passenger side door no longer opens from the inside. fantabulous. then...today...in training (for the CCR2Promotion...retention this week) we get pulled out of training, it's canceled for the rest of the week and i have to take GENERAL calls. not wdg...just general. and we can't even transfer to the next tier. there's only so much i can do, and due to phone systems not functioning properly, if i can't fix it, no one can...not til later...no idea how much later. hopefully not too much later. please try your call again.
so i'm praying the bad karma is gone but i'm not going anyway. if friends want to play they can come play at my house. in my backyard. in my smoking room. it's not safe out there.
horroscops sent via t-zones through t-mobile the last couple days. 12/5-The smoke is about to clear. Everything will be revealed again. Stay put. 12/6-How will you ever find what you're looking for if you don't clean up this mess?
i'm screwed. nothing is clear. nothing has been revealed. i am REALLY trying to stay put. what mess would you be referring to? the one on the table or the one in my head. cause i'm not sure there is any luck either way....
Current Mood: hopeful
|
May 17th, 2004
07:41 am - been a long time.
well. i'm currently living in prineville, though i still pay rent for the house in redmond since i'm on a lease. i'm still working at t-mobile. it rocks. kind of. the benefits are awesome but i really don't like dealing with stupid people all day every day. and after june 1st i start working four tens. i don't know if i'll be able to handle it.
i'm going to a wedding in california this weekend. i'm excited. except that we have to stop by and see my grandpa, who i'm not exactly fond of, because he's having surgery sometime this week and this might be the last change we get to see him. and it's not that i'm excited that he won't be around anymore, i'm just not really sad either. i don't really have any feelings on the matter.
a while back justin said he was going to ask me to marry him before i leave for california. i'm leaving this friday. i don't know that he really will. but it doesn't matter. he will someday. and i'll say yes someday. and i think for right now that's enough.
still drive the same car. rachel and rob still fight. mom and dad's place is still the only place i really go to hang out. except justin is allergic, like, SERIOUSLY allergic to marijuana. one day i had some resin on my fingers and touched his arm and he broke out in hives. so i don't do that so much anymore. and in some ways that's good, others it's very bad. good: i continue to lose weight. no munchie madness. no stuffing myself full of junk food and then passing out immediately after. i can remember a lot more. i have a lot more energy. Bad: i don't really sleep so good. that's about the only bad.
i know a lot of people say prineville sucks. but when you live in $700,000 house on the hill, it's pretty cool. i don't ever really go into town except to drive through on the way to work in the morning. it's quiet. but we just put the house up for sale and will be buying a house in redmond soon. we read an article in the paper yesterday about how sexual abuse by kids of kids has increased in crook county by 92.9% and with a 7 year old daughter i can easily see why he would not want her here anymore.
i guess that's really it for now. i still have izzy my puppy. she's still adhd and hyper as all hell. but so am i.
maybe more another day. probably not though...
Current Mood: content
Current Music: justin singing a made up song to izzy
|
March 28th, 2004
04:14 pm
woohoo for having weekends off. i was lazy all damn day and hung out with richard and debbie and mom and dad. rachel and rob got home just in time this morning to wake me up so we could run over to mom and dad's and smoke with richard and debbie before they headed back to portland. then we went to madras and picked up a wheel so rob could take off his snow tires or something and i got to see the camaro and it's HELLA bad ass. and rob's parents have like a bajillion cars and they're all oldschool and REALLY loud. it's awesome. very intimidating people. and they have like a ton of chihuahuas and cats. what the hell?
nothing else really. possibly attempting to bleach my hair again tonight. it's going to look funny. but i've had just about every color put on my hair so it really doesn't matter.
i love living in redmond. i love working at t-mobile. i love having my parents so close. i love my dog. life is good today.
Current Mood:  calm
|
March 27th, 2004
04:14 pm
it's the weekend. just got back from hanging out with the kids (my little cousins) we went all over bend and they bought all kinds of stuff and we got some food and we went and saw beverly and jon at the mall and we went to the funny farm. it was great. now they're tired. wonderful :)
so i have to go to my aunt alice's birthday party tonight. not too terribly excited about that but at least a bunch of other people i like will be there.
i might be bleaching my hair tonight...still not sure about that. other than that it's been a slow weekend (haha)
i love having weekends off with my family. it rocks :)
ok that's all for now. gotta go play with the kids some more before they take naps and get all amped again.
peace out or some shit
Current Mood: still fine
|
March 26th, 2004
09:56 pm
i made it a whole week. i rock. at work, we have to do this weird secret service partner thing where we have to find little ways to serve this one person secretly. so i'm gonna bust out a rock from my parents back yard and put a big U in magenta paint (magenta is t-mobile's color) on the top and set it on her desk. U ROCK! get it? ha ha. i crack myself up.
other news? not so much...rachel came and got rob today and they're going to someone's wedding in fort rock and they're staying at her parents house and if it doesn't officially end this weekend, i give them 3 weeks. max. for real.
my uncle richard and debbie are here. i thought clair was coming and i was gonna take her to the park tomorrow since i'm going with beverly and taliah. but she is with her dad this weekend. lame.
i tried to dye my hair but it did not work. STUPID.
the end
Current Mood: fine
|
March 25th, 2004
05:40 pm
i love my job. my trainer i don't think is so fond of me. i don't know why but he's just kind of short with me and a little rude sometimes. and i thought i was just being super sensitive being PMS time and all. but then we went out for break and all the other smokers were like "dude, he's hella rude to you!" so it wasn't just me. but i don't care. i'll just be REALLY nice to him and do really well and things will be just fine i'm sure.
i don't have my phone yet, probably won't get one until next week sometime. kind of sucks but i havent had a phone for more than month now. and it really doesn't seem to matter. only 2 people have wanted to call me. which reminds me....
my ex girlfriend, the only girl i've ever REALLY had feelings for (because she kind of fucked up my head and now i don't like to date girls, just fool around with them, they are not special) called me the other night. what the fuck? yeah, she lives in denver colorado and was in cheyenne and had to update her resume and thought about me because like 3 years ago i helped her with it so she looked my family up online and decided to give me a call. we BSed for a bit and i got her number and i'm supposed to give her a call again when i get my phone. what good can come of this? seriously! jess and i were just not meant to be together. things were always wrong, we loved eachother, no doubt, but we live two completely different lives. god damn. girls suck.
alright, i think that's about it. my dad just got home so ima go smoke. more when i have more time. so much is happening...
rachel moved out again and then back in again. but rob and rachel both decided this was the last time. one more try and if shit hits the fan it's really over....psha.
Current Mood: just fine
|
March 21st, 2004
07:42 am
LAST DAY AT ISKY! YES! and beverly informed me that she would not be mad at me if i walked out. not that i'm going to. it's sunday. sunday's are the best day at isky because it's me, bev, taj, and steph. and i love them. oh. and just for the record, i totally felt up steph this morning. BIOTCH! haha. it's only 744 and i'm so fuckin hyper.
and taj, she's moving back to wyoming on thursday. she used to live in lander. her dad's gonna be here wednesday to get the last of her stuff and help her move.
the entry i had about stupid people and how i love them when they all of the sudden get smarter and start fixing things, that was mostly about tajene. anyway, she has had some wonderful things to share with me all weekend long. i was going to get some of my own, but nick decided he'd rather go to the bar lastnight than come see me and front me a bag. and taj comes to the rescue having already re-uped lastnight. this is going to be an excellent last day.
still haven't checked out my new hire packet from t-mobile. i need to do that tonight...
Current Mood:  ecstatic
|
March 20th, 2004
07:13 pm
45 more minutes left. i should just walk out now. but i'm sure bev would be mad, and while i say FUCK ISKY, i do not say FUCK ONE OF THE ONLY FRIENDS i have... and so i stay. and listen to sublime and check out tuckermax.com, rotten.com, and other gross shit i can find tonight. i filled out the application for a date with tucker max, don't see me getting a response because i'm 19 and he's an alky. but it would be bad ass if i did. he hella reminds me of someone i know, but way more mean to girls.
i want to leave i want to leave i want to leave i want to leave.
and i hate it when i stop being important. especially when it's my fault.
stupid
Current Mood: dying to leave
|
05:07 pm
some girls are much crazier than they lead you to believe. i've learned this most definately in the last few days.
i'm sooooooo tired. but i'm making money. yesssss
tomorrow is the last day!!!!!! tomorrow is the last day!!!!!
Current Mood: shocked and intrigued
|
01:55 pm
more bad timing. what the fuck. i'm so fucking tired. been here 8 hours. got 7 and a half more. fuck.
|
07:50 am
that was the biggest breakfast burrito ever. and i ate the whole thing. on top of my two and a half or so hours of sleep, now i'm REALLY ready for a nap.
gaaah. i'm so full. uuugh.
Current Mood: stuffed
|
06:06 am
i'm so fuckin tired. it's six in the morning and i just went to bed like 3 and a half hours ago. i went out lastnight. for a wee bit. and then at 1030 the show was over and i realized it was crazy to be out because i had no friends and nothing to do other than get in trouble. so i went home, and found that my roommates had not gone to the casino and were indeed worried about me because i was 2 hours late. so rachel and i took some bong rips and discussed the happenings of the day and she went to bed. i took a bath and tried to relax but had no luck. i got into bed around 1230 but did not actually sleep until around 2....230 maybe. then i woke up at 415. then my alarm started blaring at 5. i showered, got dressed, started my car, heated up my corn bag, and went on my way. i'm here now. apparently i have to do something like 300 harley cards. terrific.
i'm an idiot. but again, i have a good time.
Current Mood: tired
|
March 19th, 2004
09:08 pm
sometimes i do outrageous things and while i feel better right afterward like i accomplished something, i feel more like an ass when i have to go back and fix it all.
apparently i'm going out tonight. to the domino room. with steph. and maybe tajene. and we all have to work tomorrow no later than 6am. we are retards. and i have to work 15 hours tomorrow. what am i doing? silly stupid bitch of a girl.
Current Mood: crazy stupid
|
08:37 pm
i think everyone sucks for not being on right now. i have an hour of work left and not a fucking person to talk to. just the irritating guy who sits next to me. fuck you all.
Current Mood: boooooooooooooored
|
06:20 pm
oh yeah. and i'm goin to hell! but i'm goin happy!
Current Mood: still satisfied
|
06:10 pm
i was having a bleh day. then it turned to very intense. now it's just good. can't wait til my break at 730. yesssssss.
Current Mood: satisfied
|
03:18 pm
so isky tried to terminate me early. haha. i get to work and my key card won't let me in the building. turns out they deleted me from the security system. and then when the lady from HR saw me and i mentioned i was working this weekend she about flipped out cause she was trying to get my check ready for me by the end of my shift today. they were going to give it to me and tell me not to clock in. funny. now i should have it by monday as planned. with 15 hours tomorrow and 10 hours sunday. hooray :)
nothing else exciting...i do not at all feel like working. my stomach is full and i'm suuuuper tired. i want to nap. and i have managed to be here for 2 hours and 22 minutes and do now work. i rock :)
maybe more later in the evening.
Current Mood:  full
Current Music: bleeeh
|
March 18th, 2004
11:06 am
today i get to go pick up my puppy. less than an hour to go. this coming week is going to be very exciting for THREE reasons.
1: i start my new job at t-mobile! yay!
2: Rachel starts her job at ben & jerry's (boo for no longer having a house wife, yay for having extra money for weed)
3: rob gets off probation so he can get high too!
and also i can get my cell phone either the end of the week or the beginning of the following week. and my puppy will hopefully be more mellow since she got spayed. and i get my final check monday. and my last day at isky is sunday. good things are happening which makes all the bad stuff going on seem less bad. hopefully the good thing trend will continue for a few weeks since the bad thing trend did.
i had a relatively good st. patricks day. went to mom and dads with rachel and rob and had pizza and beer and bud. nice and relaxing.
the end.
Current Mood:  okay
|
March 16th, 2004
03:36 pm
thank god for tripple shot frappuccinos. too bad it gave me a bit of a caffeine headache.
i can't wait to start t-mobile. now i'll really never have to come back.
i wish i could find someone with some stuff i could buy.
today is one of the better days i have had recently, and i did not get to keep any of my paycheck and managed to spill an entire soda all over my feet and the floor of my car. what does that tell you?
Current Mood:  depressed
|
March 14th, 2004
09:01 am
shitty. hungover. at work. tired. headache. stupid.
Current Mood: shitty
|
March 13th, 2004
02:38 pm
things i've leared about myself recently:
i have commitment issues
i need therapy
i want anything i'm told i can't have
i have little/no self control
i make the same mistakes, every year, around the same time
i like pink nail polish
i spend money compulsively
i'm un-turn-on-able again. (just like this time last year, and the year before, and the year before....what the fuck
i do not hate caffeine
i prefer sodas with dye to clear sodas
i have absolutely no idea what i want
i'm tired too much
Current Mood: blah
|
10:43 am
ah yes, and i forgot to bring a long sleeved something. so i'm cold. and i somehow managed to not bring my pay check with me which is really stupid because my main goal for the day was to cash that sonofabitch. but no, i left it at home. somewhere. so i won't be able to cash that until monday. which i guess really doesn't matter because my check is only 466. and i owe rob 100. rent is 280. and i owe grams 100. that's 480. not good.
plus i need gas and cigarettes. fortunately i'll be getting a 700-something dollar check in 9 days. my last isky check. UNfortuantely that will have to last me like 3 weeks.
really, all i want, just for today, is to get terribly intoxicated. but there again, i'm poor. i can't even afford to just get plain old high.
i hate this week. and i'm sure i will hate the next 6. with the exception of three days. my last day at isky 3/21, my first day at t-mobile 3/22, and the day i see nofx/alkaline trio/some other bands 3/31. yay pj for giving me yet another wonderful thing to look forward to.
Current Mood: fine. but i have to pee
|
10:26 am
blah. it's saturday morning. i'm at work. i hate work. i hate money. i hate people.
my mom and roommates all agree that hermit-ness is what i need. i spend too much money. and waste too much gas. and smoke too many cigarettes. and blah blah blah some more.
maybe i do need space? i need help. someone please fix me.
i don't know what i need.
Current Mood:  anxious
|
March 12th, 2004
08:36 am
it's early in the morning. i just woke up.
even though i don't really know how i feel, i know i feel the same.
i clipped my toe nails this morning. yay for that. they were freakishly long. my puppy slept with me lastnight. first time. she usually sleeps in her little crate. i did not sleep very well but it was nice. i love izzy.
my dad ended up not having to work today. stupid. because my mom has the day off too. and i WOULD have the day off but thanks to my vacation i have to work 11-730. shitty. my mom and dad are my favorite people in the world. and they're going to take the dogs for a walk today. not fair. not fucking fair at all.
Current Mood: blah
|
March 11th, 2004
06:59 pm
i have a lot to say. but no way to say it. i have been asking a lot of people the same questions with ever varying results. i don't know how to utilize this information.
i miss being a hermit.
Current Mood: hopeless
|
|
|
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif?v=92.1){kind=small}
blusativazen's journal